tortoise

Why Are You So Slow

I am not going to bluff you. I am full of imperfections. As a Coach and Trainer, I’m supposed to show you the good and strong side of me. Well, because most Trainers I know of show the angel side of them. They are like the perfect person without flaws. I wanted to be that perfect person as well. I was showing all the good side of me to others until…

Until July 2011, this belief changed. Being a Coach and Trainer is about showing who I am and what I do about those flaws. It’s about being aware of my mistakes and weaknesses, plus having the courage to admit them. I confess, “Yup, that stubbornness, hot temperedness and impatience belong to me.” That’s me, I’m aware of it and am working on it.

 

Here is one flaw that gets me frustrated all the time.

 

Slow people get on my nerves all the time. If someone is walking slowly in front of me, I literally feel the irritation coming up. Ok, I am not referring to the elderly or people with special needs. These slow people who get on my nerves are young, healthy men and women. But they walk like they have no energy in life.

 

Some frustrate me by taking their own sweet time in going down the stairs. They are so slow that a long queue is formed behind them. I can understand if they just want to be careful. But NO! They are slow because they are messaging their friends or watching Youtube on their mobile phone while walking down. Why can’t they do those things after they are off the stairs? Isn’t it dangerous?

 

Whenever I’m behind them, I can hear my mind ticking with all the swear words.

 

There are many examples of my frustration with slowness. Like a 30 minutes job turns out to be 2 hours. Or a driver driving at 50km/hour on a 80km/hour highway. Or a player in my weekly football game runs so slow that it takes him 30 seconds to complete a distance of 30 meters.

 

So how come? How come I’m triggered by slow people?

 

I discovered that I wanted to prove something to someone. I wanted to achieve results in my life to prove to my parents. I got impatient whenever I had team members who were moving slowly. I wanted results fast, I wanted to win fast! I couldn’t tolerate those who took forever to finish a task.

 

The need to prove got me into lot of trouble with people. While I can’t tolerate the slow people, they also can’t tolerate me being impatient. Some have turned their backs on me. We are no longer on talking terms.

 

I am aware that the need to prove is costing me friends and results in my life. And I have a choice. Now I know that actually there is nothing to prove. My parents don’t need me to prove anything to them. All they would like to see is I’m safe, healthy and happy.

 

Honestly, slow people still frustrate me today. Fortunately, I have a choice now. I choose to act from my essence, not to be triggered. The point is to accept imperfections, and what are you doing about this imperfection? So what triggers you? What are the reasons? What is your need? What choices are you taking?

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