“You PISS me off!” “Stop giving me CRAP!”
These are some internal conversations I will be having when I was triggered. And my natural emotion is anger. When an event triggers me, anger comes out naturally. We all have natural emotions that exude easily. For some, it’s sadness. For me, it’s anger.
Anger is one of my automatic ways of being. All of us have automatic ways of being. This means you will react in certain ways when a situations arise. If I’m woken up by a phone call which isn’t important, I will be grumpy and express it to the caller. That’s automatic for me, I can predict how I’ll react. Usually your close friends can predict your reactions to some events too.
So I had an anger problem.
In the past, some guys told me to suppress the anger. Bad idea.
Suppressing the anger doesn’t release it. Suppressing is not doing my body and spirit a favour. I got angry with the slightest “wrong” and each time the emotion just got bigger and bigger. Because all those pent up emotion is waiting to erupt. And when I do erupt, it’s like an atomic bomb, releasing the compressed energy into the environment causing major destruction.
So if I don’t suppress it, how to control anger, ?
I find that to live a life of freedom, I don’t have to control the anger but to allow it. I don’t have to deal with anger but to feel it and express it.
The anger has to go somewhere. If you don’t find a place to release it, it’ll stay in your body. You will have to release it someday on a much bigger scale or it gets releases by some other forms, like sickness.
Knowing that I had to release the emotion, I become much more comfortable with myself. As long as I’m experiencing anger, I find a nice place to release it quickly. I swear, shout, sing loudly, play games, punch in the air etc. I do whatever to let it out quickly so as not to bog down by it.
One of the best way I found out is to say and feel “as it is.”
That means, I walk up to the person who triggers me and tell him, “I’m angry that you are doing this.” This way, I get to express how I feel to the person directly. I’m being truthful to my feelings, and I don’t hold anything against him after saying and feeling “as it is.”
Going deeper than that, anger issues is actually a function. A function comes with a source. So what is the source of my anger?
While working with my coach, I discovered that anger allows me to gain access to my power. This is my strategy of gaining power. I get to be motivated when angry, I get things done faster in a angry mood.
What is the source of your natural triggering emotion?
The thing is I do not need to be angry to access my own power. There are multiple ways to access that. So now I’m practicing accessing my power from compassion and connection.
How do you access your own power?