Have you ever been stuck with choices? You were stuck and don’t know which to choose. So you delayed making a decision. You delayed saying ‘Yes’ or ‘No’, ‘A’ or ‘B’. You were struggling in making a decision, but you wouldn’t want to choose one.
I’ve come across many who stood on the centre of the court, unwilling to step over to one side. I sometimes choose to stand in the middle of the court too, unwilling to make a decision. Why is it so tough to make a decision?
It’s tough because we are afraid. There is fear in decision making. What if we make the wrong choice? We are afraid that the decision will not turn out well and therefore we resist choosing one. However, the act of not choosing gets us into more struggles, limitations and immobility.
What really is going inside our mind when we face choices?
“If I choose A, these are the pros and cons. If I choose B, these are the pros and cons. Both have pros and cons, which should I choose? What if I choose A and it doesn’t turn out well? But I really dislike something about B? My circumstances now favours B, but A has more potential. Oh no, I really don’t know how to make this decision.”
All these analyzing actually incapacitates you. All these analyzing comes from your fear of making a wrong decision. And this fear actually demotivates you. In the end, you choose not to do anything, as it’s the safest. You hope that circumstances will force you to make a choice. This gets you to lose all your power to circumstances.
The other kind of behaviour will be choosing A but thinking about B, or vice versa. In this instance, though you made a decision, but you wouldn’t be moving forward. Your mind and soul are torn between the two decisions. Your soul goes A but your mind goes B, how would you not be torn? In this case, usually you won’t be able to achieve much. The end result is making a new decision again. The mind goes like this.
“See A didn’t really work out, I should choose B instead.” Or “B is so tough, guess A is the one for me.”
This happens because while choosing one, you are thinking about the other one. How will you be focus and motivated to work on your choice?
What did I learn form my own experiences?
Go with the heart. What does the heart says? Yes, there are times I can’t sense the message. So I’ll wait a few days for the dust to settle a bit, then listen to the heart again. Sometimes, I stop doing everything, stop the busy-ness to feel my heart. The heart always has something to say during times like this.
Stop analyzing. It’s no use analyzing all the information. When I make a choice, things immediately change. The information becomes redundant. Those pros and cons are based on the past, they don’t apply when I’m moving into the future because I create my new future.
Remove expectation. Detached from the results in whichever decision you made. Expectation trapped you and got you into struggle. You’ll be liberated without expectation. That’ll get you to focus and motivated to work on your decision 100%.
Make the decision fast. The longer I delay in making the decision, the more I struggle. Make the decision fast, stop the struggle, and then do whatever it takes to make the decision works.
The thing about decision is the more you delay, the more your life get stuck. So make them fast, so that you can move on with life to create your future.