2 weeks ago, I made a bold decision to turn down a training contract. Bold because I get to pay the bills with the training fee, and I’m in need of cash. It was actually very daunting for me to turn down this contract as this contract can resolve some financial tightness this month. Yet I turned this opportunity away.
Something in me hinted, “don’t take this job.”
I agreed to take up this training contract when I was approached. I even prepared the notes, materials and lesson plan. I was ready physically, but my heart wasn’t at peace
There was struggle between the mind and the soul. Hey, there’s money to be earned why am I turning it away.
The left brain went on with the pros and cons. It came out with various reasons why I must do it. There were many reasons why I should do it. Money, great exposure, out of comfort zone, new experiences etc.
However, the right brain couldn’t keep still too. I felt unrest, and absolutely not at peace with this contract. There was a war going on with my body. There was lots of disturbance in my heart. I couldn’t rest well, I couldn’t sleep well. And I got to make a decision fast.
In the end, I chose to follow my heart.
Is this fear, I asked myself? The fear of getting into the unknown could have created a stir. I checked that too. And it wasn’t fear. I do know the feeling of fear when stepping into the unknown. I had that experience before. Though afraid, I was also excited and looking forward to it. But this time, I wasn’t looking forward to it, I wasn’t excited.
So now I follow my heart more? It depends. Since we are given a half of left and right brain, I believe it has to be a balance of both analyzing and feeling. Truthfully, I’m still very left brain, but my heart was shouting out loud this time. And I trust my intuition this time. Also I’m learning to listen to my heart more.