Hello, Did You Lose Your Confidence?

Why do I post something about losing your confidence? Because confidence is important to success, but many feel the opposite. Many feel that when you achieve success then you will have confidence. It is actually when you have confidence then you will have success.

So why would a money seminar sells much better than a confidence seminar?

Maybe because not many will admit they lack confidence, but many will say not enough money. You can do this test by asking friends, “do you have money to lend me?”

Well, honestly confidence cannot be measured. And that makes it hard to say you have enough or not enough confidence.

While many don’t feel that confidence is the foundation, I want to say confidence really is the foundation to a fulfilling life. One requires confidence to be successful in relationship, finance, career, business and even yourself.

A client hired me as his coach because he suffered so much in his job due to the lost of confidence. He needed to get his confidence back badly as it is crucial for this client to move forward in his career. In his case, it may be lose your confidence, lose your job.

I experienced confidence crisis a couple of times in my life. When projects failed, and partners left me alone to clear up the mess. My confidence took a plunge. I was paralyzed. I have to pull myself up. From this experience, I learn to access confidence. To control confidence rather than allowing it to control me.

Gaining confidence can be as easy as snapping your finger. However, I do understand that when you are stuck in a mess, a simple task can become a mountain to climb. If you are concern about your confidence, and will like to build and grow your confidence, read on.


Believe You Have Confidence
No one can make you believe anything without your permission. Even with major failures in life; like business failures, relationship failures, career failures, financial challenges etc; you can still be confident.

Problem is we measure ourselves against some standards set by others, then we make all the failures mean something. So when our business, relationship or career don’t work out, we feel like failure, losing our confidence.

How about changing your perspective? Results is a representation of the our action. If you don’t get the desired outcome, it means the action needs correction. You learn that a particular action desn’t work. But through this action, you gain experience and lesson. Look at it from this angle, though the result may be undesirable, the effort is commendable. Learn to acknowledge yourself for the effort. Then own it by doing a correction.

I like to share this statement that may be different form what you know.

“You never lose confidence, it is always in you.”

Start comparing your results with others or start using a measuring tape, you start losing your confidence. Comparing is a lose lose game. There will always be someone else who is better, richer, smarter. You will never win this conversation. So why not avoid this conversation altogether?

Comparing gets you to focus on “what’s wrong with you”. Start shifting your focus to “what’s right with you”, and access that confidence that is always there. More about accessing your confidence in a while.


Getting your body in shape is a simple way to feel confidence. Have you spoke to a guy who has a well-toned body or a lady with a slim tone line? What do they project? How do they speak? CONFIDENCE. They exude confidence.

My version of holy trinity – body, mind and soul. Take care of anyone of them, you’ll gain confidence. Take care of all three, your life is filled with energy and positivity.

Among the holy trinity, the body is the easiest to take care. Go for a jog, swim , get yourself into a gym membership or change to a healthy diet will work wonders for your confidence.

I used to exercise regularly until about a year ago. Once I stopped the routine, suddenly I didn’t feel right. 2 weeks ago, I rejoined the gym membership to get my body ramped up again. 2 weeks has passed, I’m still in the routine, exercising 5 times a week before getting to my daily tasks.

Set up an exercise routine to gain confidence. You can start slow, once or twice a week for 30 days. Once your body and mind get use to it, you can increase the intensity or frequency. If you have not been exercising, it’ll take a while to cultivate the habit. Be patience, be persistent. Do it for 30 day, and watch your confidence grow.

Detach From External Result
You have a choice to allow confidence to grow from elsewhere other than external result. Example, if you target to run 5km in 22 minutes, but you come in 30 minutes. Do you get discourage? You don’t have to. You can detach from the 22 minutes and acknowledge yourself for completing the run.

The problem with attaching your confidence with external outcome is when you don’t get to the desire outcome, your confidence crash. And in life there will be thousands of times that you can’t get to the desire outcome. How does that do to your confidence?


Feeling Confidence
Recall when was the last time you feel successful and confident. Close your eyes, relive the time when you are confident. Feel that confident exuding from you. Visualize that image of your success. What got you full of confidence? What got you to that place of success?

When you are ready to rock, open your eyes slowly.

Some powerful and inspirational music can assist this visualization process.

You can always access this confidence whenever you need it. Confidence is always in you, but we tend to look for it elsewhere. Look for it inward, you will find it hidden somewhere in your heart.

Confidence is the foundation of all successes. Turn that confidence up, you will enjoy a life of successes.


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5 thoughts on “Hello, Did You Lose Your Confidence?

  1. Sean Lim

    I love how you put things into perspective, and really break it down into doable parts.

    I believe part of it is really taking one small step at a time, whatever it is we’re doing. Doing breeds familiarity, and familiarity breeds confidence.

    Great stuff!

  2. Larry Lewis

    To accomplish whatever you want out of life, you need self-confidence and belief in yourself and in your ability to achieve your chief aims in life. You have made this clear in your post. Like you, i’m sure, as a life coach. there’s nothing better than seeing the transformation in another once they become that confident person we help them to connect with.

    1. skyjoe76 Post author

      Hi Larry, self-confidence and beliefs the fundamental. It’s a joy to see clients transform, gain confidence, bust procrastination. And you have a nice blog.


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