“I am disappointed with you.” Ever heard someone saying this to you? Or you said this to someone? This statement points outward. It is not that nice to point your finger outward. If we don’t point outward, how about pointing inward. Instead of ‘you’, it’s ‘me’.
It will sound something like this, “I’m disappointed with myself.”
How does it sound? Sounds alright.
Actually, it is not alright.
From blaming others, upset with others, you instead turn inwards to blame and upset with yourself. Disappointment with yourself hurts your self-esteem. In a worst case scenario, there is possibility of spiraling downward into depression.
What are some symptoms of blaming yourself?
This is what you will say to yourself,
“Stupid me.” “It’s my fault.” “It’s me again.” “Why can’t I do this properly?” “It is always me.” “I can’t do this simple thing.”
Ever say these to yourself?
It sounds harmless to say them. But do you know that you are actually losing self esteem bit by bit? And for some, it gets worse.
You feel lousy after being disappointed with yourself. In order to balance that lousy feeling, you take up some activities. Unfortunately, you pick up some unhealthy activities. You got addicted, and you get disappointed with yourself more.
Aware Of Your Thoughts
NOTICE when you start blaming yourself again. Catch yourself doing it, so that you can change it. Consistently catching yourself helps to break the cycle of being disappointed with yourself. Gradually, you get to kick away the habit of blaming yourself.
It seems easy to practice, but not that easy. As you get into the busy-ness of things, your awareness lowers, and you may get into that habit again. Key thing is consistently remind yourself to heighten your awareness to until you are used to your new habit. Alternatively, get a Coach to support you in this area.
Do this for 30 days, observe what it does to your life.