“Thoughts become things.” You may have come across it so many times from books, blogs, videos and seminars. Some of these media discuss “thoughts become things” around the concept of law of attraction.
Nope, this is not about law of attraction. We are going to discuss “thoughts become things” from a coaching perspective.
In coaching, “thoughts become things” is real. It is proven to be true many times from coaching point of view. It’s not from “I attract or the Universe provides.”
When you have a thought, this thought drives a certain behaviour. This behaviour then provides you a certain result.
Imagine that you are having the thought of “work is fulfilling”, what will your behaviour be like?
On the other hand if you have the thought of “work is boring”, what will your behaviour be like this time?
The above example is a very simple and obvious example of how your thoughts will affect your daily life. How about behaviours that are not so obvious?
How about behaviours that appear in relationship that don’t seem so obvious? Your thoughts can affect your intimate relationship too.
I had a girlfriend who would stalk on me, check my emails and being very suspicious that I had other girlfriends. (I never had more than one relationship at any point in time) All along I thought it was me who couldn’t provide her security and trust. But then I discovered that it happened to her other relationships as well.
She acted this way because she thinks that “man cannot be trusted, man will cheat on her.” Because of her action, her few boyfriends after me couldn’t tolerate it and went looking for a new companion to confide in. This reinforced her thought that “man cannot be trusted, man will cheat on her.”
Unfortunately, she is unwilling to look within for the cause of this result. All she did is to blame those who betrayed her love.
What about thoughts about money?
I had the thought that “money won’t come easy, money comes with hard work.” What do you think my action will be?
I create busy-ness in my life. When I wasn’t busy, I felt guilty. In order to make money I must give a lot of myself. I hold on to a lot of work so that paying myself becomes justifiable. If the team are doing more work than me, then I pay myself less.
Again, it’s a self proving prophesy. When I pay myself less, I’m creating a situation money is not enough. This reinforce the thought of “money comes with hard work”.
So your behaviour is a reflection of your thought. If a particular behaviour is supportive to you, you don’t have to worry. But if a behaviour is unsupportive, what can you do?
Take note of your unsupportive thoughts. The first step is to realize your repeated result. From the result, ask yourself; “which of my thoughts causes this repeated result?” Identifying these unsupportive thoughts alone can change your result in life.
If you like to, you can go further than this. Ask yourself; “where did I get these thoughts?” This brings you to the past incident that have you believe that this is true.
In my ex-girlfriend example, her father cheated on her mum. She was made to believe that “all men are cheats”.
I saw my dad worked very hard for the family. He used to take on two jobs, a shipyard worker by day, a taxi driver by night. Since young, I got that “money is made only by hard work”.
So identify your thoughts. For those who are not use to look within, this process can be tough to apply. If you do need help, drop me a message.
After identifying the unsupportive thoughts, you have the choice to generate a new supportive thoughts.
Instead of “man are cheats”, shift to “man are loving and trustworthy”.
Instead of “money is made by hard work only”, shift to “money is easily made by applying the right knowledge”.
Shifting of thoughts is the simplest. However, there is still one more step to go.
These unsupportive thoughts are embedded to your brain for many years. It’ll requires some effort and time to shift them. By doing the first and second step mentioned above gets you to a stage of awareness. This third step gets you to shift to supportive thoughts permanently.
The third step is to take some form of action to re-wire your brain. Ask yourself; If you are coming from the space of the new thoughts, what will you do differently?
After realizing what you will do differently, practice it. Do it with intent and do it consistently. Observe what has changed after ninety days.
There is no shortcut to shifting unsupportive thoughts. It is about taking deliberate actions to shift what you need to shift. The only shortcut I know is when your repeated result has grown too huge to handle that it smack hard on you. Sometimes people do shift permanently through that way. Will you wait till that day when you are smacked to make the shift?