Life is a wave, sometimes up and sometimes down. Sometimes you are in flow when everything seems perfect and smooth. Every task is completed without hiccups. Every deal is closed without much hassle. Every project ended successfully.
But sometimes you are down like sliding down a water slide, fast and twisting. Every project can’t seem to progress smoothly. Every task is filled with twists and turns. Worse still, certain strategies and method that used to work no longer work anymore.
When the hurdle is a straight forward one-time event, you can take that as a learning experience and move on.
But what if it is more complicated than a one time event? What if it’s not the about the event or the hurdle? What if it’s your belief that got you into that situation?
In that case, this won’t be a one time event. You’ll face repeated similar hurdles over and over until you realize that your belief is causing the problem.
What do I mean by that?
A client whom life was messed up when she came to me, was under tremendous stress from her superior at work. Her work life was so messed up that she couldn’t do her work. Her personal life was so messed up that she could cried at night when she’s alone.
She was not the only client who’s facing this kind of situation.
One of the reasons that we discovered is that their past beliefs that used to work for them doesn’t work anymore. Yet they are hanging onto that belief not knowing that this belief is no longer working for them.
Since they didn’t know about this belief that is no longer supportive, they looked outside for an answer. Like changing a boss, changing a job etc. But the root of the problem didn’t go away. They next time they are faced with a similar situation, the same cycle will be repeated.
Some people after looking for an answer outside, think that the problem is solved. Yes, it’s resolved temporarily, but the root is not removed yet.
Our behaviour of looking outside for an answer has to do with our system. We are trained to look outside for an answers. For example, when your school results are no good, go get a tuition teacher. When your job performance is below par, take up a course to improve your technical skills. You’ll seldom hear your boss tells you to work on your personal development or work on yourself.
My mum sent me to tuition to improve my school results. No amount of tuition worked for me because my issue comes from internal not external. When the internal is fixed, I’ll find resolution to the external. Like now I don’t have to be forced to study, I am very motivated to learn. Many a times our internal is causing the problems but many don’t realize it.
5 Key Points here to break away from being stuck.
What is the situation?
First of all, know where you are not performing. Where did you get stuck? Knowing exactly where you are stuck allows you to quickly resolve it. Otherwise it’s like searching for a leak around the sewage not knowing where is the leak, simply waste of time.
What are your thoughts and analysis of the situation?
For every situation, you will possess thoughts and analysis on the situation. These are the exact thoughts that got you stuck.
For example, one client of mine was unhappy because her boss was breathing down her neck, micro managing her. The boss was driving her crazy. When asked how come she didn’t bring up to her boss about how she wanted to be managed.
My client response was, “No way! I can’t do that to my boss. My boss will drive me up the wall if I do that!”
Notice all your thoughts about the incident.
Who told you these thoughts and analysis are true?
You must have picked up these thoughts somewhere. Either someone told you about it or you witness a similar incident.
The truth is, what you think is not the truth. Do not let the past affect the truth. The truth is you have the power to change your outcome in any situation. Unfortunately, too many are stuck in their own mind, thoughts and analysis.
For my client’s example, who told her that she can’t communicate professionally to her boss regarding the problem that she’s facing?
No one told her. She made it up herself.
What are some of the thoughts that you made up that are limiting your growth and progress in life?
What will become possible when you let go of these thoughts?
So you’ve identified your thoughts and analysis, how about letting go of these thoughts? What will you benefit by letting go?
My client’s progress extremely well in her career when she let go of her thoughts that got her stuck in that lose-lose situation. Her boss no longer micro manage her, she feels more confident, she is enjoying her job right now.
Her current outcome occurs because she looks at the possibility of letting go of the old thoughts and analysis, and wanted a new outcome. The only way to achieve the new outcome is to first let go of the old thoughts.
What will you do next?
Letting go of the thoughts is not enough to evoke a change. New thoughts have to be reinforce with new actions. What are some new action to take on so that the new thoughts can stay? Beside imprinting your new thoughts to your mind, actions are a requirement for any outcome. To have your new outcome, action is required.
What will you do next after letting go of your old thoughts?