We live in a society that is bounded by rules and regulations. To maintain the order of the society, rules and regulations are necessary. Otherwise, we’ll probably be living in a chaotic world.
Rules and regulations keep the world in order, and also keep us in order. Each one of us has a personal set of rules and regulations to maintain our behaviour in the highest form of integrity. Though at times we may have some maverick thoughts, our set of rules and regulations keep us in check.
However, it’s also this set of rules and regulations that can cause unhappiness to build up. Even if you want to feel happy, with the social rules, we may be forced to make unhappy decisions.
Michelle is in the middle management who works in a rather large organization. On top of her is a tough boss who rules with an iron fist. As a middle manager, she has to cushion the impact from her boss to her subordinate. And then her boss keeps adding stress, workload and datelines on her.
The resolution is to communicate to her boss on her expectation. She has to tell her boss that things are not going too well for her. But she has huge resistant in doing that. She responded, “How can I tell her this? She is my boss. How can I point out to my boss that things are not right.”
In her case, due to the social rules of not speaking up in front of superiors, Michelle is being guided by these social rules that eventually leading her feeling unhappy about her situation.
If Michelle was to let go out the social rules, she would have build up the working relationship with her boss, not feeling that stressful and lead a happier life.
Another example of being bounded by social rules here. Bernard was studying Electrical Engineering in school. But he has no passion in this course. Upon graduation, he naturally went on to work as an Electrical Engineer. His challenge is that he didn’t like this job, he didn’t like being an engineer. But he is being chained down by his belief. He believes that since he takes this subject, it will be a waste if he chooses another profession.
This is the start of his misery. No passion in his job yet stuck with it. Not for any reason, just because he studied this course.
If he was to let go of the social rules, he would have work in his dream job, excel in this job since it’s his passion, and lead a happier life.
How To Let Go of Social Rules?
People who are bounded by social rules are actually bounded by fear. Take Michelle for example. She is afraid that her boss doesn’t listen to her and start to pick on her. For Bernard, he is afraid of the uncertainty by doing something out of his comfort zone.
In order to let go of your social rules, first you must let go of your fear. When you are anticipating the different scenarios, ask if they are facts. Most likely they are interpretation. If they are just interpretation that means they are just stories being created by you.
Then ask yourself, what are the benefits of letting go of social rules? Only when the advantages of letting go are greater than disadvantages, you got a chance to let go. This is common sense, right? If the reward is smaller than the risk, what’s the point of taking the risk?
Lastly, ask yourself how committed are you to let go of social rules to create a new life. Without commitment, it’s pointless to go through any theory. The commitment to act supersedes any lesson from books or seminars.
Having the ability to let go of social rules, you can definitely be liberated, feeling the kind of freedom that you’ve never felt before.
Honestly, it won’t be that easy to let go of a social rules that you have been holding on for so long. In the first place, it won’t be that easy to discover that you are being bounded by some social rules. If this really happens, do find some support.
Of course you can always get in touch with me to support you. Just contact me here.