Standing in front of the room speaking to a group of audience feels comfortable for me, approaching strangers is not an issue to me, and I have no qualms about scolding someone who cuts queue in public. Want to read about me scolding someone?
I wasn’t this daring before the age of 27. I was a very shy boy who would remain quiet when I mingled with people. I would be a follower waiting for things to happen than a leader initiating outings or conversations.
I wouldn’t dare to approach a stranger to strike any conversation. If really there was a need, I would speak like a mouse, and no one could hear a thing.
So when my aunt saw saw me singing publicly,
she couldn’t believe her eyes and ears. “You were so shy, so quiet”, she said.
A long time friend who engaged me to train his insurance agency was shocked to see the transformation in me. “You used to be so quiet that when you walked into a room, no one would noticed”, he said while shaking his head.
Only those who know me before the age of 27 would notice the my change from a shy, timid and quiet boy to a loud and courageous man.
Quiet and shyness is the external behaviour of the lack of self-confidence. In the past, I didn’t think that I was worthy enough to deserve anything. No one heard me when I spoke. And I wasn’t certain if it’s because I was too soft or they didn’t take me seriously enough.
Year 2003 was the year transformation began for me. I did many things to overcome my shyness. After embarking on the entrepreneur’s journey, I had to force myself to be heard. I had to attend networking events, hold meetings, present my views in groups etc, something wasn’t very comfortable.
As a result of all the activities, my confidence grew. Before I knew it, I was no longer the shy, timid and quiet boy. In this process, I learned an important lesson.
No one cares about you until you feel worthy of yourself.
The following points that are going to help you overcome your shyness are not in sequence. There is no first step, second step and so on. You can start from any point that is comfortable.
Believe You Are Worthy
The most pity thing that can happen to anyone is the inability to believe in yourself. All of us are borne worthy, no one is here to take up space unnecessarily. You are borne to this world because you have something to accomplish.
However, sometimes you believe the negative comments that others say to you. Hearing them is not so much of an issue, but when you take it personally and believe them, this becomes an issue.
How many times have you heard, “this is not good enough”? Some people take it personally, thinking that they are not good enough. Their self-confidence took a hit, followed by resignation, and going backward into their cocoon.
Go to a mirror now. Look at yourself, look beyond your external appearance. While looking at yourself, appreciate the gifts that you possess. Recall the things that you’ve done well, recall the beautiful things that you’ve done for others, recall your innate strength.
Take a notebook, and start writing. Write about your dreams, your aspirations, and who you want to be. Visualize that you can be that person. Summon the confidence and power in you, it’s always there. It’s about time to allow yourself to feel confident again
Discover Your Core Values
Those who are uncertain about themselves or not knowing who they are usually lack the self-confidence.
Core values guide you to live a fulfilling life. Understanding your core values and what drives you allows you to make better decisions. Your core values will guide you to choose the right career, pick up the right hobby and hang out with the right friends.
Not knowing your core values can cause a conflict between activities and your personality. Conflicts in yourself causes lack of fulfillment, thus causing the dip in self-confidence.
Find out what really drives you, what are your priorities and what satisfy you. Contact me if you need help in this area.
Explore New Territories
This is my favourite. Pick up a new skill, explore a new place, grab onto a new adventure. Every new experience you pick up is a elevation to your self-confidence.
Confident people are always keen to explore new areas of interest. They are able to grab hold of every new experience, piecing them together to build their self-confidence.
I’ll put every new places that I visited, new skill learned, new adventure activities together, and weave them into my training programs. My confidence grew because I will then be speaking from wide range of experiences. On top of that, the content of these programs are unique due to my unique range of experiences.
Explore, attempt and test. These three words will enhance your self-confidence by a great deal.
Conquer Your Fear
What is your greatest fear? What do you dread doing the most? Overcome them, and your confidence will soar.
Some are afraid of public speaking, some are afraid of height, some are afraid of showing their feelings, and so much more. What are yours?
Speaking to strangers was definitely out of my comfort zone in the past. I soaked myself in an environment that I got to speak to many strangers every week. As of now, speaking to strangers is no longer uncomfortable to me.
Doing sale was another uncomfortable area to me. Again, I immersed myself into the environment to overcome it.
You can find an environment that allows you to overcome your fear. Or you can take up a course to pick up the skill. As long as you become comfortable with your fear, confidence will grow from within.
Maybe it’s was thought, an idea or a plan, without executing them is not going to support you in anyway. Taking the initiative to turn these ideas to fruition is key to overcoming your shyness.
Be very cautious here. Sitting on an idea or a plan can do more harm than you know. Imagine having a thought to overcome your shyness but you keep sitting on it, how does that make you feel?
You start to feel guilty, lousy about yourself and maybe depressed. This is not going to help your path to overcome shyness.
Take initiative immediately once an idea arrives. Delaying any action builds layers of resistant. What ideas are you having right now? Act on it now!