Looking at me speaking on stage or conducting training in front of the room right now, no one would suspect that I was bothered by low self worth. I didn’t believe that I deserved success, I didn’t think that I was worth more.
I used to give a lot of free service. Started with giving free training and coaching, and then helping others build their businesses while getting nothing out of it. I can explain it as all the helping provide me opportunities to learn, the fact is I dare not ask for what I was worth. Basically because I didn’t think I deserved it.
I was charging $100 an hour to speak to a group of people. Companies were paying me $600 a day to conduct a workshop. This definitely is not helping my self worth. I did it because I got to gain experience.
When companies asked how much do I charge to conduct a 1-day training, I hesitated to quote because I was too scared that they would run away if I quoted too high.
There are times I would take on facilitation job for just $80/day. Seriously this depreciates my self worth to the bottom. I justified it by helping other Trainers.
Recalled those days when my coaching clients asked for my coaching fee, I was scared to tell them too. Because I know it wasn’t on the low side,and didn’t believe that I was worth that much.
I am glad that this have all been behind me. My fee now is 10 times those amount mentioned right now. So what did I do to raise my self worth allowing me to really be compensated for my worth?
Disclaimer: I do not think your self worth is tag to a price. This is only one of the ways that I used to measure mine. I used this way to measure my contribution to the world, and how much this contribution is worth.
Keep Improving Myself
The more capable you are, the more confident you become. I continue to attend courses, learn from others, read books, reflect on my experiences just to become better than yesterday.
However, the tricky part is learning itself doesn’t improve your self worth but applying your learning does. You gain experience by applying the new knowledge, with new gained experience your self worth will only go up.
When you attend a course, your course mates will gain the same knowledge as you. When you read a book, another person who read the same book will gain the same learning as you. It is the experience you gained by applying the new knowledge that separate you from those who have the same knowledge.
Knowledge belongs to everyone, but your experience only belongs to you.
I have invested 5-figure amount attending courses and seminars. If I don’t apply the lessons, I would have wasted all the investments. I applied these new learning whenever opportunities arise.
All these accumulated experiences formed a unique me, my self worth goes up and up because there’s only one Joe Lee in this world.
Give More Than I Receive
I give a lot of values, ensuring my clients who engaged me get more than what they pay for. Because I give so much, I don’t have an issue with charging a premium. I do not charge based on time, though it seems like it, it is not. I charge based on the value that is created.
My self worth goes up because of the amount of value that is created. The amount of value means the amount of contribution to the world. I feel good to be able to contribute to humanity, to change someone’s life.
What additional values can you create for the world today?
Stay Away From Deal That Depreciates My Self Worth
I learned to say “No” to deals that didn’t do justice to my time and effort. Two months ago, a training company asked me to facilitate an activity for them, and they will remunerate me $300 for the 4 hours work. I had to turn it down for two reasons.
Firstly, this deal is not building my self worth, and will lock me at the lower fee’s range. Second reason – I don’t see myself adding lots of value, maybe some value, but not a lot in this kind of training deal.
Do not misunderstand that I am starting to get arrogant and not do trainings that does not pay me well. As of now, I am planning to conduct a free 2-day training to a group of at-risk teens.
In the nutshell, I want to provide lots of value but I like to be compensated well too. This shift in my thinking brings tremendous self worth to me.
In this post, I’m using monetary terms to measure my self worth. This is only one of the ways. Please go ahead to use any other way to measure your worth as long as it works for you. My way is not the only way.