When was the last time you took care of yourself? Are you beating yourself up when things don’t go the way you like?
I beat myself up badly when I didn’t get my desired results. I had expectations of how things should turn out. These expectations suffocated me and my life. They restrained me from achieving success in my life. I didn’t know that while I was beating myself up, I was actually creating a self sabotaging cycle at the same time. How’s that so?
To make myself feel good when things didn’t turn out as expected, I invalidated ME. I felt bad initially, and after invalidating ME, I gained the drive to do it better next time. It made me felt good and motivated. Thus, it became a strategy to feel good, strong and motivated. I like others to perceive me as strong, persistent and highly motivated. I like other to see me as a fighter in the face of failure.
And well, that’s precisely what I got.
Beating myself becomes a strategy to feel strong and motivated. And I need reasons to beat myself. What will be a better way than sabotaging my success?
This became an automatic behaviour eventually. Whenever I’m about to achieve success, I crashed my own success. When I make a come back, other will see me as a fighter who is strong and driven.
This is an awakening! I have to re-invent my context on the journey to success or else I going crash my success again. I have to re-invent ME.
Today, I learn to take care of ME and my well being in any situation. Successes, failures, mistakes are a part of that journey. I expect them to show up, and when they do, I celebrate. When I made a mistake, I celebrate. When I don’t get the expected results, I dance and sing.
I am still working on the showing compassion to myself. There is progress to the work. But I know I am more forgiving than the past. I see mistakes and breakdowns in a different view now.
Last week I made some mistakes in business. On top of that, last week I didn’t manage to convert a prospect into a client. You know what! I bought ice cream for myself to celebrate! And I had the whole tub to myself because my wife was not around.
Come to think of that, my wife is not around – it’s celebration time again!